Harry Potter and the Sinful Family
by nyacat39
Summary: Unable to pass through the gate, Truth sends the Homunculi to an alternate dimension... one Hundred years before the start of the Harry Potter series. Skip a forward a bit in time and four of them have just moved into Number 6 on Privet Drive. What happens when Harry is raised by them? What happened to the other three homunculi? How will this change the world?
1. Prologue: Setting the scene

Hey everyone uh before you read the actual story please read this Author's Note first:

So I've been a big fan of Harry Potter crossovers for a while now and have been wanting to write one myself, there's just one big problem... I have very little knowledge on the series as a whole. I know at least a little bit of the basics in each book but I don't know the whole STORY personally. I want to write this as more then a one-shot, I really do but I won't be able to until I do a bit more research.

Until then Feel free to use this as a prompt for you're own take on the story. Trust me it will be a while until I can get around to it.

Now that that's out of the way onto the story, but first:

 ** _Disclaimer:_** _I do not own Harry Potter or Fullmetal Alchemist._

 **Reading guide:**

 _I'm a homunculus.-_ Thought

 _"I'm a homunculus." -_ Amestrian

"I'm a homunculus."- English

 ** _"I'm a Homunculus."-_** Pride's echoed tone in Amestrian.

Please enjoy!

* * *

The sun hung low on the horizon over the town of Little Whinging, not much was going on aside from the large moving van making it's way onto the street known as Privet Drive. Some residence peeked out of their homes to see the van, that was being followed by a simple looking black Volvo 760 Turbo Wagon to the driveway of the house numbered 6, just across the way from the not yet infamous house Number 4.

Finally stopped into the driveway, the driver of the Turbo stepped out revealing a teenage looking male of asian descent with long black hair tied into a slightly messy pony tail and a bit of hair mildly covering one of his unusual violet colored eyes, he was dressed in all black from his sleeveless shirt under a long trench coat, to his nice dress pants and finally ending at a pair of boots and had a judgmental look on his face.

" _ **This**_ _is our house?_ "

" _Just for the next two years,"_ a woman's voice said as the other occupants of the car started to make their way out. The one who spoke seemed to be the only true female of the group with flawless pale skin, long wavy black hair with some of her minor curls framing her face and helping to bring out her violet eyes, her outfit was a long black dress with a slit on one leg to show off her black heeled boots and a pair of long black gloves were apparent under her zipped up jacket with white fluff going on around the collar.

" _Hate to agree with him but come on, couldn't we have picked somewhere_ _**better**_ _?_ " an androgynous voice questioned, as another long black haired teen stepped out of the back. This teen had a body type that was hard to say if they were male or female. They had black fingerless gloves on that poked their way out of a long black jacket that zipped up enough to leave a "v-neck" in it to show a form fitting top that was, surprise surprise, black and cut off at the middle of their neck. They had long black dress pants and a pair of boots as well, their skin was just as pale as the woman's and their eyes matched the two others in color… though their hair style seemed to be vastly different with what could only be described as "Palm-Tree style" going on and seemed to only be helped into this with a simple black head band with a red triangle on it.

" _Envy, Greed, quit whining and get over it. The property and location live up to our requirements and will serve us as a home for the duration of our stay,"_ a young boy said as he was the last one out of the car. Being the only one out of the trend of black clothing but following with the black hair and violet colored eyes trend, the boy looked to be no more than 10 years old but his eyes showed far more knowledge and maturity then his form let on. His hair, unlike the other three, was short and almost proper looking, save for a few strands that stuck up here and there. He wore a simple white button up shirt underneath a dark brown vest, a very simple but proper looking tie, a pair of long blue jeans and a pair of brown dress shoes.

" _I don't care if it meets the requirements, it looks so plain and boring like the rest of the neighborhood,"_ the asian one, Greed, stated as he looked around the street full of nearly identical houses with disdain.

" _Which again is perfect,"_ the boy responded as he began his way up to the door of their new home, followed closely by the woman who choose not to follow the two teenager's lead and look at the whole block with the same feeling.

" _Lust come on! You have to agree the least they could do is add more color!"_ Envy exclaimed as they followed after the woman and young child, only to be followed by Greed at a much slower pace.

" _I trust Pride's decision with this place and so should you,"_ the woman, Lust, answered as she bit back her follow up sentence. _Even if you are absolutely right._

They opened the door up to the empty home and soon began to move everything inside, the only one not helping being Greed who sat out on the lawn and pulled out the grass, out of nothing but pure boredom, before letting the small green blades be pulled by the wind. Sighing he laid back into the grass with his arms resting behind his head as a pillow, he went about with watching the clouds and the changing colors thanks to the falling sun.

 _God I need something interesting to happen soon… Maybe I could stir up another fight with Envy… What do you think Lin-_ Greed's line of thought stopped and his once bored expression turned into a solemn and guilt filled one.

 _That's right… I keep forgetting you're gone…_

" _HEY ASS FACE! IF YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING COME IN AND HELP OUT ALREADY!"_ Envy's loud voice rang out from one of the windows, causing the saddened mood that Greed was in to turn sour within a minute. Thankfully for them, what their neighbors heard from them was a very German sounding language so they were in the clear to say whatever the hell they wanted and not be understood.

" _PRETTY SURE YOU GUYS GOT IT COVERED WITHOUT ME!_ " Greed shouted back, not really noticing that their argument was drawing a bit more attention to them from their new neighbors. If he did however, he still wouldn't have cared all too much.

" _ **Greed."**_ a quiet, but threatening echoed child's voice reached his ears, causing Greed to turn his violet gaze with caution to the extended shadow that was only noticeable if you were really attempting to look for it… or got lucky and saw the single red eye set into a minor glare.

" _ **Either help out with the house or go explore the town. Don't just sit around and do nothing like Sloth did."**_

" _Fine, fine… See ya suckers!"_ Soon as he said that, Greed got up and hurried away in an attempt to find something to keep him occupied while his family set up the house.

" _GREED WHAT THE HELL? GET BACK HERE!"_

" _Let it go Envy and finish setting up your room,"_ Lust sighed as she passed by the room where Envy was poking his head out to yell at the mentioned sin.

" _Tch… Fine,"_ Envy scowled as he closed the window and began moving some of the furniture that had been placed into the room how he liked it.

….

Greed wandered through the streets of the town that he had just moved into, his hands in his pockets and eyes focused on nothing in particular. The only thing he had really seemed to focus on, even for a moment was some neighbors who reminded him of Chimera's. One being a woman who mildly reminded him of a horse… and the other being what he could only assume as her husband reminded him a little bit of a walrus, though he did have to admit as well that the infant that the woman was carrying had a pretty good resemblance to a pig.

 _I swear that family isn't even close to being human… Then again who am I to judge._ Greed thought to himself as he walked. The air was a lot cleaner here then it was back when they lived in the States for a few years before having to move again. Not to mention it was a little more quiet here as well… however the prospect of having a "quiet" life irked Greed as the need for excitement and to see or do something out of the norm grew stronger the more he thought about it.

 _Nearly one hundred years in this world and only a handful of events presented themselves…. If we decide to ever intermingle with those fashion rejects of wizards again then maybe more fun could come from it… then again most of them are assholes and would probably screw shit up with us. Mostly those "Purebloods" seriously what's with them? Why don't they just take those sticks out of their asses and wake up to realize that their inbreeding is just disgusting as hell? Just because you're not directly related, doesn't mean their safe to be dated!_ Greed outwardly shuddered a little bit from that last line of thought. Glancing up and to his left he caught sight of his own reflection in one of the windows of what appeared to be a small store of some sorts. Greed quickly looked away, a pained expression crossing his face after seeing it in the window.

 _Out of the two forms that "Truth" bastard could have chosen for me to be remade into… he had to pick the brats to keep me in…_ Shaking his head a bit to clear his thoughts Greed continued walking and tried to focus more on something else. The inhuman got his wish rather quickly as he noticed a human or two walking by in the most obviously out of place looking clothes, from the robes to the nauseating mishmash of color on said robes.

"Wizards…" Greed mumbled in annoyance as he kept his hands firmly placed into his pockets and continued walking forward, silently hoping that the wizard (possibly two if the person in the actual normal clothing was one as well) would notice his unnatural eyes and attempt to start something. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you looked at it, they didn't seem to notice and brushed past the sin, irking him just a bit. Though Greed did relax a little shortly after, knowing that fighting wizards now of all times would be a bad idea… no matter how entertaining it sounded to him.

….

Envy finished setting up their room, doing their best to ignore the human movers that helped with bringing everything in. When some asked if they wanted help with moving any of the heavier looking furniture, Envy would scoff at them and move it theirself. Sometimes while doing that Envy was rather quick to notice out of the corner of their eye that one of the workers would stare at them and quickly look away whenever Envy made it more obvious that they were looking at the man.

"Alright what's your deal?" Envy questioned, their english holding a hint of a german accent in their words. The man that the androgynous sin addressed took up a flustered look before shyly looking away.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb. I've seen you watching me and frankly it's getting on my nerves. So I ask again, what's your deal huh?" The mover grew more flustered, which only served to annoy Envy more.

"It's…. It's just… you're uh… Y-you're…."

"I'm what? If you don't spill it out right now I'll-" Envy started, growing more annoyed at how the man was taking so long to get to the point, but was cut off when Pride entered the room. The "child" smiled up at the agitated sin and held a look of innocents.

"Big brother could you help me with my room?" Pride asked in a voice that sounded and made him seem more like the child he looked like. Envy had a blank expression for a moment before realizing the hidden message that clearly stated "Finish that sentence and I'll finish you," and Envy could only sigh.

"Alright, Alright I'll help," was Envy's only response, even though the term "brother" didn't really settle right with them despite having used it for so long… then again Envy would say the same about the term "sister" sure "sibling" had a good ring to it but it was weird to say out loud. As the genderless sin left the room, leaving the "youngest" with the mover, the sin noticed Lust giving them a little smirk.

" _Look at you, attracting you're first human male naturally,_ " she spoke in the "German" language, confusing her palm haired sibling.

" _What?"_

" _It's obvious that human finds you attractive. I should know after all,"_ Lust smiled as the confused expression Envy wore turned to surprise and shock.

" _Lust…"_

" _Yes Envy?"_

" _Is that human broken?!"_

 _..._

"Where the hell am I?" Greed questioned out loud as he quite literally got himself lost while walking. He could barely tell where he was anymore. Hell he wasn't even sure he was in Little Whinging anymore…

 _This is what you get when you don't pay attention I guess…. Shit. Wonder if I should ask around… better question where should I start asking around?_ Looking around there were a few people here and there, a few stores and… was that an old run down pub? Like hell anyone would go to a dusty place like that for drinks.

 _Hell the Devil's Nest was nicer than that place and it was a little bit of a shit hole to begin with! Wait… Maybe I could reopen the old place sometime… Gonna file that idea away for later. Right now I got to find a way home,_ Greed thought before swallowing up some of his pride and went up to a few people to question where he was… and if they knew how to get to Privet Drive. Unfortunately for him, most people turned out to be assholes and the few nice ones turned out to not really know how to find it.

"This is going to be a long day…"

….

Pride took a seat on the sofa and took the time to examine the entire Living Room. The TV was right up against the wall with two book shelves framing it on either side, the left one had less books than the right and held some pictures that the family took during their travels but none had any images of the siblings in it. Next to one of the shelves was the fireplace that Envy blocked off immediately when they had laid eyes on it. Pride couldn't understand why the palm haired sin had insisted on blocking every fireplace they had in every home, but then again he wasn't going to question it. If someone has a weird quirk it wasn't his place to tell them how to live… at least not anymore.

Looking to the right of the Sofa was a comfy looking, off-white, lounge chair that Lust had found while shopping one day and insisted they get. Looking at the chair Pride remembered that during the week they had first got it that he had found his sister curled up in the chair and sleeping peacefully. It was strange for him to see her that relaxed but ignored it and since then he would sometimes, especially nights when there were storms, find her curled up in the chair and seem more relaxed than ever.

Between the chair and the couch was a small side table, and in between the couch and TV set was a larger coffee table that sat on a simple blue rug. There was hardly anything else in the living room itself, but there was the Dining room not to far away. The table was set up and there were six chairs set up around it. A red table cloth was draped over the table and a few more pictures were hung up on the walls, once again none of the pictures had any images of the family who owned them.

 _Perhaps we should get some potted plants to tie everything together,_ Pride thought, seeing as there were a lot of open spaces that couldn't be covered and felt a little more empty than it really was. Putting one of his hands into a pocket, the "child" pulled out a small locket and opened it up to show a picture of an older woman with long light brown hair, blueish grey eyes, a pair of blue earrings and a motherly smile hugging a younger looking Pride.

" _What would you have done?"_ Pride asked, a glossed over look in his eyes as he started at the picture and seemed to hold a few memories flashing before them. It ended as soon as he closed those violet orbs with a sigh then closed the locket as well.

 _No use dwelling on the past. Better go see how everything else is coming along._ With those thoughts in mind, Pride was about to make his way upstairs to his siblings when a knock was heard at the door. Figuring it was one of their new neighbors wanting to give them a warm welcome, Pride sighed and made his way over to the door. As the "child" opened the door he almost regretted it from the moment he looked at the people on the other side.

If he didn't know any better he would have said they were chimera's, the woman reminding him strongly of a horse, the man a walrus and the infant who was maybe no more than a year old looked kind of like a Pig, their scents didn't help them either. All in all, it took a lot of willpower for Pride to not flat out ask them how they can exist in this world and instead opted to hold up a confused child look. After all from the looks on their faces it was clear these… possible chimera's were holding smiles as false as his own, though his was a lot harder to detect as fake from years upon years of practice.

"Hello?" Pride asked, pulling up an innocent child facade but internally wishing that these people will leave.

"Young man are your parent's home?" the walrus asked, putting a little too much "nice" into his words that it nearly made the "youngest" feel sick to his stomach.

"No, but Big Sister and Brother are upstairs. I can get them for you if you want," Pride offered, taking a bit of a liking to how the older maybe chimera's shared a confused look between each other. However internally he was hoping that these things would leave and soon. Though apparently not soon enough as the Horse-woman pulled up her false smile again.

"We'd love to meet them."

 _Maybe Envy's attitude will drive them away…_ Pride pondered before turning towards the stairway.

"Solaris! Will! We have neighbors!" He shouted. Soon after he could hear the faint sound of Lust's heels clicking and making their way to the stairs as well as Envy's foot steps. When the two "older" siblings finally made it to the first floor Pride had to restrain a smirk at seeing Envy's sudden look of confusion before it turned into one of disgust.

"I thought we moved to a neighborhood, not a zoo," Envy spoke with disgust evident in their voice and a sneer practically plastered on his face. The looks on the neighbor's faces nearly made Pride want to burst out laughing with how positively livid they looked.

"Now, now Will. Father wouldn't have wanted you to teach Selim improper manners in greeting guests now… would he?" Lust asked, a faint smirk gracing her lips as a gesture that she actually agreed with Envy's observation but had to keep polite and try to be civil. Envy scoffed but said nothing as the only female strode over to the couple.

"Forgive my brother, after our Father died he's been acting like this. I'm Solaris, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," she smiled but didn't extend her hand… though that didn't seem to phase the Walrus man who grinned and held out his own.

"Vernon Dursley, this is my wife Petunia and our son Dudley. We live on Number 4."

"Put your hand down…" Lust growled but bit her tongue from finishing what she had wanted to say at the end, being "You disgusting worthless human." Taking the shocked expressions of the family, Lust quickly composed herself. "Forgive me, I just… don't like touching people."

Needless to say, that was how they met the Dursleys…. And that was also the very same day the three sins agreed if they ever got around to killing humans again…. They would start with them.

….

The street lights were on and the sky was dark by the time Greed made it back to Privet Drive. Needless to say the asian was not happy at all with the time it took to get back. He passed by a darker looking corner and paused when he noticed a kinda old looking tabby cat staring right up at him and not attempting to hiss at him or run away, though he did notice some of the cat's fur rose up a bit. Blinking in confusion at this, Greed shook it off before making his way back to his home… Instead of entering the house however, Greed hid around the corner of said house the moment he saw the street lights going out and having some light vanish into a man's hands…. More specifically that looked to be a lighter from his position.

 _Definitely a Wizard Trick…_ Peeking around the corner and having to squint just a little in order to see an elderly wizard walking through the street along with the cat he saw earlier. Straining his ears a bit he could make out a few words that the old man had said before the cat turned into the form of an elderly woman in an obvious witch's outfit.

 _Note to self, Tell Envy the Wizards stole his trick and watch as he flips his shit,_ Greed snickered quietly to himself before turning his attention back to the elderly duo, he was successful in picking up a few bits and pieces of conversation between the two elderly magic users, one of which seemed to involve him and something about it being dangerous for someone to live here with "Muddles" or something along with the likes of him and his family. Greed tried to piece together the conversation as best he could in his mind… only to have it snatched away by the sound of an engine going and seeing the light of a motor bike descending from the night sky. Despite the fact it wasn't at all discrete and seemed like a completely stupid thing for a wizard… or anyone who wants to remain under the radar to have, Greed only thought one thing while looking at the bike as it landed.

 _I want that bike._

The inhuman teen continued to watch from his position, picking up some of the words being said by the trio of wizards, before watching as they placed a small bundle on the stoop to House Number 4. The trio of wizards… the one who arrived on the bike being the youngest looking of them as well as the tallest…. And possibly the hairiest if the old man didn't have his own beard and long hair combo going on. The moment the three wizards left, Greed stepped out and snuck over to the bundle that was set down upon the stoop. What he saw in the bundle left him questioning Wizard's sanity.

"Who the hell dumps a baby on someone's doorstep with a note in this day and age?"

….

Lust couldn't sleep. Sure they don't really need sleep anyways, as it was more of a luxury to her and her family, but it helped pass the time and it was actually rather nice. So long as there were no nightmares to accompany wasn't a storm going on to remind her of how she had… come to this universe with the dreadful booming sound, but the memories plagued the woman all the same.

In them she was always in a white walled room, a solid stone door with intricate carvings in front of her. Right in front of that was a large suit of armor and a blond haired woman. Behind her was an open door way and a man in a blue uniform, one hand clutching his side that had a large burned wound, the other holding tight onto a lighter and had an alchemical circle painted on it in his own blood. His cold black eyes staring straight at her with a dead serious look plastered on his face as he clicked the lighter open and the resounding boom came about. The feel of her skin burning off right down to her bones caused her to scream out in pain despite her throat being destroyed as well. Her skin and muscles would attempt to repair themselves only for the man, no not just any man, for Mustang to repeat what he had done earlier, putting her into a cycle of pain and torture.

She would always wake up with a start as the final click would sound. Lust would always find herself breathing heavily and feel as though whatever room she was sleeping in was trying to suffocate her… it never helped that almost all the rooms had those haunting white walls. The moment her eyes would open up her hand would rest on her chest, covering a bit of her "tattoo" of a winged serpent eating it's own tail with a pentagram in the middle of the circle.

It's the same as this night, and soon after the usual, she kicked her legs out from underneath her covers and left the room, brushing her fingers through her long hair as a way to calm herself down from the nightmare. She did eventually calm down and went to the lounge chair in the Living Room. Sure most normal families have a recliner chair but then again, they aren't a normal family now are they?

The moment she sat down on the chair, the front door opened up to reveal Greed… carrying in a wrapped up bundle.

" _Well, look who finally decided to return,"_ Lust smirked. " _Here I thought you were going to run off and oppose us again."_

" _What's there to oppose anyways?"_ Greed asked as he adjusted his hold onto the bundle with a slightly uncomfortable look on his face.

" _What's in the bundle Greed?"_ Lust asked, before noticing her younger brother's uncomfortable expression deepened to the point she could practically see him sweating on the spot. Lust's expression turned stern at the hesitation her brother had. " _Greed what's in the bundle?"_

" _It's…. A human child…."_

Silence followed after Greed had spoke, the younger sibling looking uncomfortable still and the older standing up and walking over to get a better look at the child, with a blank look on her pretty pale face. Inside the bundle was a sleeping child with hair as black as night, pale skin, a peaceful expression and a lightning bolt shaped scar on it's forehead.

" _Greed…"_ Lust started in a dangerous tone… dangerous enough for some visible parts of his skin to take up a dark grey hue to it.

" _Yeah?"_

" _Put the child back where you found it."_

" _Look it's just for tonight. Some backwater idiots did the old gimmick of leaving a child on the doorstep of some unsuspecting house with a note."_

" _In November?"_

" _Yeah… they didn't even try knocking or anything,"_ Greed kept the discoloration of his skin up, even though Lust no longer had the dangerous tone she was using.

" _Fine. One night then you return the child where it was originally dropped off… What house was it and where?"_

" _Eh…. Number 4… our neighborhood."_

Lust's expression turned dark almost instantly at the mention of the neighbors, which caused Greed to flinch.

" _We're leaving the child in an orphanage as soon as tomorrow comes."_ Lust said, leaving Greed to question what was so wrong with the neighbor or neighbors at house number 4. Just as Greed was about to head upstairs only for Lust to stop him again. " _You said there was a note with the child right?"_

" _Yeah, of course."_

" _Do you have it?"_

" _I snagged it, yeah…. You want to snoop through it?"_

" _Yes."_

" _Suit yourself."_ Greed shrugged and with his free hand pulled the note he folded up from his pocket and tossed it to his sibling. Soon as she got the note Greed adjusted his hold on the child before leaving for the staircase and making his way upstairs to find where his room is. While at the same time this was going on, Lust opened the note addressed to the Dursley's and began reading through it carefully.

….

The next morning came… and every member of the house woke up to the loud crying of the child that Greed picked up. Pride and Envy both woke up the most confused, Lust was more with agitation and Greed was a bit more of panic.

" _WHAT'S WRONG?!"_ Greed questioned as he sat up quickly in his bed before picking up the once sleeping child, who continued to cry leaving the "teen" even more confused and panicked than before.

" _WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE GREED?!"_ Envy shouted as they practically kicked the door open, with Pride and Lust coming in close behind. Pride had a dumbstruck look at the sight of the "older" brother attempting to get a human child of all things to stop crying, Lust was a lot calmer but seemed to be very annoyed from the vocal human and Envy… was mostly just pissed off at the moment.

" _HOW DO YOU GET HUMAN CHILDREN TO STOP CRYING?!"_

" _HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?!"_

" _Why is there a human child here in the first place?"_ Pride asked, looking to Lust for answers as the two "teens" tried to see if they could get the child to quiet down.

" _Greed picked him up when he got home… apparently some Wizards dropped him off on the doorstep of the Dursley's in the middle of the night and Greed wanted to make sure he stayed warm I suppose,"_ Lust answered, ignoring how Envy almost held said child upside down in order to see how to get him to stop crying… thankfully Greed stopped him saying something about how humans are fragile at a younger age.

" _Alright… who even is the child anyways?"_

" _The note left with him said he's called, Harry Potter… and he's the Dursley's nephew."_

" _The Dursley's?"_ Pride asked with disgust. While those two were still talking, Envy and Greed were trying to get Harry to stop crying… it wasn't working.

" _HOW DO YOU TURN THESE THINGS OFF?!"_ Envy exclaimed only for some of the crying to get louder and for the androgynous sin to whince.

" _MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED YELLING!"_ Greed suggested getting more annoyed himself as he snatched Harry from Envy's arms and attempted to calm the one year old. Growing annoyed themselves at the loud child, Lust and Pride wrapped up their discussion to go in and try to help their fellow sins.

" _Give him here,"_ Lust sighed and the minute Harry was placed into her arms, he calmed down enough to stop his wailing and opened his eyes to reveal a pair of emerald colored eyes. Her siblings could only stare in shock at the now calmed down human who seemed to snuggle a little closer to Lust. " _That was easy…"_

 _ **How?!**_ The three thought to themselves, not at all understanding how she could get Harry to shut up finally.

….

After the… awful wakeup call and everyone seemed to relax just a bit, especially the human child who seemed to start playing with Lust's hair after a while before she got annoyed and handed him off to Envy… who proceeded to have the same thing done with their own hair, though it seemed Harry liked the more palm-tree style then Lust's wavy hair.

" _Alright when are we getting rid of this brat?"_ Envy asked as young Harry laughed while pulling at a lock of his hair.

" _It might be more difficult than that Envy…"_ Lust sighed and held up the letter that Greed had given her. " _The child was to be taken in by his Aunt for protection against some 'Dark' Wizard called Voldemort. He was supposed to be accepted for a magical protection charm called 'Blood Wards' to activate… and I personally refuse to send anything to live with those Chimera's."_

" _THAT'S where those things live?"_ Greed questioned, not knowing exactly who lived in the house just knowing that the Wizard's really didn't think things through on dropping off a baby on someone's doorstep.

" _Ew, yeah no even I refuse to let a pathetic human live with scum like that,"_ Envy responded making a face of disgust… which made the child in their arms laugh and attempt to chew on their hair.

" _There's more…"_ Lust sighed once again.

" _Let me guess just dropping him off at an orphanage will be difficult…"_ Pride spoke up, as he was listening carefully to everything Lust was saying to formulate a plan.

" _He's apparently going to be famous among wizards and if one of them get their hands on him, he's going to be easily used and manipulated by them. Not only that but it also increases risk that this 'Voldemort' will find him or one of his followers."_

" _And that's a bad thing why? We've done it multiple times ourselves,"_ Envy pointed out, while Greed scoffed at the Jealous.

" _Does the concept of second chance not mean anything to you ugly?"_ Greed asked, making his sibling twitch in anger and a few red sparks to dance around the right side of their body. " _Besides Father manipulated and used us for his own gain, which lead to you guys having to manipulate the humans. Without Dear old Pops around to order us like puppets there's no need for that and it leaves us free like birds."_

" _As much as I hate to admit this, but Greed's right Envy,"_ Pride responded, his expression annoyed as he leaned back into the sofa with closed eyes. " _There's also the fact that 'Truth' left us here with the only order to 'Balance the Scales' of this world. Meaning we need to act less like the 'villains' like we were back home, but it also means we don't have to act like complete 'heros' either and from what I've gathered leaving the human at an orphanage would lead more to the darker route."_

" _... We're going to be stuck with the brat aren't we?"_ Envy asked only to have a collective silent yes as their answer which made the genderless sin groan in annoyance.

This was going to be a long, long two decades.

….

The sins (Mostly Lust, Pride and Envy) were quick to come up with a cover story for the human child in their care and it's worked for them for the full two years they remained on Privet Drive Number 6. During those two years it soon became clear who the top favorites were to young Harry… especially with him calling Lust "Mama" since he turned 2… even though she keeps trying to get him to not call her that. Greed seemed to earn the title of "Papa" for reasons no one but the mentioned sin seems to understand… and Greed didn't seem to mind it either.

Despite the two "Top" positions being taken, Harry seemed to like playing with Envy (and by playing I mean annoying the crap out of Envy till they pick the kid up and Harry laughs before patting the sins face as if to say "Got ya!") he's also taken to calling Envy "Enny!" for short as it was hard for him to say v's quite yet.

Harry also learned to scramble over to Pride whenever he needed protection from Envy if Lust wasn't around… The human learned quick that Greed was, ironically, not the best shield against Envy's wrath. Though when Envy was ever truly angry with the kid was up for debate among everyone as it seemed like the palm haired sin never let the kid get to hurt… or worse. Pride was more of the trusted older brother to Harry… at least that's the closest the rest of the sins could pin the relationship Harry seemed to have with the actual oldest down to.

When Harry turned three, they moved many cities away as they thought it was still too soon to move to another country… again. Plus it would be hard to do so with their added… family member. They settled down and choose to remain in that city for another two years.

During those two years Harry started to use a bit of accidental magic every so often… one instance included accidentally turning his family's hair pink. Envy was the only one who got out of it pretty quickly and ended up laughing with the child as the other's tried to figure out how to get the color out. Another instance was when Pride took the, at the time, four year old to a park and the homunculus found the child talking to a snake… and the snake was talking back it seemed. Pride didn't know whether to chalk it up to a typical Wizard thing or just a weird Harry thing and thus decided to make his presence known to the snake… who fled the moment it sensed his presence.

The biggest incident however that had almost all of them break their calm was when Harry had somehow teleported from the backyard to the roof a few days before his fifth birthday. At first the young human thought it was another fun game and laughed at the panic that was on the faces of both Envy and Greed (as they had been watching him for the day.) Harry had playfully called down to them to come get him… only for the child to slip and suddenly scream, the image of this being a new game being shattered almost instantly and for the young boy to hang on tightly to the roof as best he could. The ground looked to be a long way down and seemed to just scream danger. The poor child's heart raced as he struggled to keep a hold of the roof… though thankfully he didn't have to worry about it for long as Greed (or was it Envy? Harry couldn't remember who exactly it was) had been able to climb the side rather quickly and grab the child, before dropping down safely to the ground.

Since then Harry's been absolutely terrified of heights and the family had to try and figure out how to get Harry to control the accidental magic so another roof incident wouldn't happen again. Not only that but they realized (more like Pride had to point it out) that Harry was approaching the age where he would be old enough to attend school… Pride also pointed out that homeschooling might not be a good idea as the human needed to interact more with his own kind as well as those in his own age group.

" _We trial run his going to school in the next town before deciding to homeschool him officially or not."_ Was the decision they came to and followed through with.

The following year when Harry had been going to school for about two months the young wizard asked the question all of them knew would come up eventually.

" _Why do you never age?"_ he was mostly looking at Pride with this question, but Lust was the one who answered the boy.

" _Because that's something things like us can't do."_

" _Why not?"_

" _Because we were made at our own set ages… and that's how we'll always be,"_ Pride answered this time and even though Harry wanted to know more, no one answered the boy's questions relating to why they haven't changed at all since he was only one… until it was nighttime and Greed had bedtime duty (aka tucking the kid in and making sure he went to sleep) that night…. Especially since Envy was forever banned from having bedtime duty as they had kept the kid up all night and ended up making a huge mess with said kid all around the house.

" _So kid what's on tonight's list? Don't say five more minutes 'cause we know what happened last time you did that,"_ Greed asked, only for the kid to look up at him with the widest innocent looking eyes.

" _Story time?"_

" _Oh boy here we go… let me guess one of the 'adventure' tales again?"_

" _I want a story about Papa!"_

Now that had Greed's full on attention. Though he will never admit it around his siblings, but Greed was a bit of a softy when it came to the kid and hearing that the kid wanted to hear a story about him… would have made his heart skip a beat in joy if he had an official heart that is. However he had to silently curse himself, after all he needed to tell a story that was PG… or else Pride would be on his ass about it later. Then something did come to mind for him…

" _Alright. Let me tell ya about the time I was stuck with a pi- an Idiot prince and some of the stupid shi- stuff… we ended up doing,"_ Harry grinned at this and snuggled into the bed a little to get comfortable as Greed began telling the kid a little bit about his time sharing a body with the 12th prince of Xing, Ling… but not without the feelings of regret and longing raising up as he told the tale.

As he went on, it was getting harder and harder for Greed to keep himself from breaking down and Harry was listening to and hanging onto every word of the story… even when it was coming closer to the end point and even if Greed wasn't telling everything that had happened… like how he fought against Pride, killed Bido or anything bloody that happened. By the time the battle with Father was coming up, Greed clammed up, causing Harry to look so confused. Then the emerald eyed child saw how Greed attempted to look away to hide a single tear rolling down his cheek.

" _Papa?"_

" _... Go to sleep now... it's late kid…"_

Harry didn't say anything for a little while before speaking up finally.

" _Papa what's wrong?"_ Greed debated on whether to tell the kid or not… but decided he would at least tell the kid something.

" _I… miss the brat. He was a good friend and I… lost him a long time ago."_

" _Was it 'cause you can't grow up?"_

" _More like I did something stupid and ended up here in this world…"_ Greed wasn't to concerned with the fact he let it slip to the human he wasn't from this world. After all kid's part of the family now, he's bound to learn it sometime or other… plus with the fact it was rather late and Harry is still so young Greed doubted the young human would remember it.

" _What did ya do?"_

" _... I… I faced the bad guy alone and lost…"_ _ **my life…**_ Were the unspoken words to that sentence.

" _How'd ya lose?"_

" _Look kid isn't it past your bedtime? You know Lust and Pride hate when you don't get your sleep."_

" _But Papa…"_

" _No but's now get to- Aw hell don't give me the puppy dog look. Seriously kid stop. I- ugh fine, fine. Geeze kid you need to stop hanging out with Envy,"_ Greed sighed, cursing how soft he was when it came to the kid.

Greed had finished telling everything he could to the kid, even the part where Harry asked what they were if they weren't humans. They were homunculi… Greed did have to admit watching Harry struggle with the word a little was kind of fun. Eventually the kid did fall fast asleep and the homunculus had never felt more relieved in his life… well his life in this world at least.

What Greed didn't know from his story telling… was how much Harry loved the idea of being a hero with his own goals. An idea that would grow with time but change from being a straight up hero to somewhere in between.

…

When Harry was seven he began learning how to fight. His family were excellent teachers… but were a little to rough sometimes. However that's what helped him learn quick and the young boy enjoyed every minute of it.

When he was eight Lust snuck him into a shop within the magical world so he could pick up a few books and learn more about magic. Both wholeheartedly agreed that the shop and wizard town seemed to be completely back watered and should really try to get out of the dark ages.

"Someone should bitch slap some major sense into these people," Harry had said out loud in English when they left the store, and while Lust agreed she also reprimanded him for the foul language. Something that he picked up from both Envy and Greed and couldn't seem to shake.

"I'm just saying, Robes? Quills? No electricity? Who in the right mind thinks that's advanced enough to use it for centuries?! Bloody idiots that's who!"

" _Most wizards are certainly lower than normal humans, but their magic is troublesome to say the least. Never underestimate them, but never think to highly of them either,"_ Lust responded in her native tongue only for Harry to huff in annoyance and switch to the Amestrian language.

" _Doesn't mean I gotta like them mom…"_ the boy huffed, causing Lust to sigh before noticing an Ice-Cream Parlor.

"How about some Ice-Cream before we head home?" Harry's green eyes instantly sparkled.

"Can I get three scoops?"

"Only if you can eat all that."

"HELL YEAH! I can't wait to tell En- Will that I got a full three scoops!"

Let's just say Envy was jealous, not because of the three scoops… but because Harry had all three scoops as chocolate, and Envy loves chocolate.

When Harry turned nine he managed to learn a few basic spells with wandless magic, but struggled with the more advanced parts. Though he did learn the levitation charm and some useful simple spells that would have made chores so much easier, Harry preferred to do them all by hand and by himself. He was proud of his own work and sometimes would boast about it, even when Pride himself told him to stop letting his ego show.

Nine was also the time Harry found out about brooms from the Wizard world and accidentally launched off on one. Needless to say the child had a major panic attack and forever swore off brooms or anything involving flight, much to his adopted family's relief.

A few days before Harry turned ten he discovered why Envy continued to board up any and all fireplaces for each home they had. The older sibling he looked up to had Pyrophobia to a degree that sometimes the Jealous would scratch and claw at their own skin trying to put out imaginary flames after encountering the sight a large fire. It didn't help that this came up when their current house was somehow set ablaze and Envy proceeded to have a major panic attack… it didn't help that Lust was almost equally afraid herself, but at least she was able to rationalize her way out of there with the others… while Envy didn't even seem to realize what was going on around them anymore.

It was horrifying to the child to watch as the palm haired sin, the one who always played with him and he looked up to almost as much as he looked up to Greed, become so terrified and unable to move. Even worse was that even though he wanted to run up to Envy and try to drag them out, Greed had grabbed him and dragged him out of the house for his own protection.

Harry screamed out for the sin who seemed to be lost in his own, terrified reality. Greed however didn't let go even as Harry struggled to go back for Envy.

" _Harry relax,"_ Pride said the moment the human got a safe distance from the house and Greed left the two "young ones" alone to retrieve Envy… while Lust had gone over to a neighbor's house to call for the fire department. " _The only thing we should be worrying more about is how the hell the house got set on fire."_

" _B-but, but Envy! They're still… a-and the fire and-"_

" _Greed's grabbing them right now. Though why Envy was freaking out escapes me it doesn't matter all too much as that won't make them stay dead,"_ Pride explained sitting down on the grass… and had one of his shadows holding onto Harry's leg to make sure the kid didn't go running inside or do something stupid. Something Pride was sure that the human learned from Envy.

" _The fire department is on the way… let me guess Envy's still inside?"_ Lust asked as she hurried over, Pride's nod and Harry's continued panic caused the only female Homunculus to sigh and pull the human child into a hug. " _Relax. Envy will be fine. We homunculi are hard to kill after all… Unlike us though you could very easily get killed."_

Harry was about to protest when Greed finally came right back out, struggling a bit to drag Envy over to where the others were and the mentioned palm haired sin still having a panic attack.

" _Little help over here?! I swear they GAINED weight!"_

Eventually when they had gotten Envy to recover and the fire to be put out, with thankfully little damage done to the upstairs so all their items were easily recovered from their rooms, they found out that the fire was due to a faulty heater breaking down. Harry however was much more relieved that his family was all alright and with the confirmation that they will continue to be alright for a long, long time.

Months after the fire and after the young Wizard's tenth birthday, while at the park with Pride (who liked to go there mostly to "get away from most of the insanity at home") Harry saw probably one of the prettiest (to him at least) teenage girls he had ever seen. Looking between the girl and his older brother Harry smiled and nudged the forever young homunculus.

" _Hey Pride."_

" _No we are not getting ice cream."_

" _No, no not that… though it sounds nice now. But do you think that girl over there is kinda pretty?"_

The deadpanned look Pride gave Harry, made the Wizard know that this was going to be the start of a minor rant.

" _Harry there are multiple things wrong with thinking a human girl like her is pretty. Reason number one; the awkward differences between ages. I'm reaching 400 years old soon and she seems to be no older than 14 at least. Pedophelia is a thing and someone my age thinking someone her age looked desireable would be plain wrong. Reason number two; I have the appearance of a ten year old… again the observable age difference will make it that much worse. Reason number- Harry get back here now!"_ Pride had ranted for a bit before cutting himself off when he noticed the younger had began walking over to the human girl. With so many people around he knew it was a bad idea to use his shadows to try and stop the Wizard so he had to go with the next best thing and try to physically get him to stop… only to arrive a little too late as Harry began talking to the teen.

"Heya Lady! Just wanted ta tell ya that my brother and I think you're really pretty!" Harry smiled, not seeing the embarrassed look on Pride's face but definitely seeing the girl smile and laugh a little at him.

"Thanks kid."

Before Harry could say anything else Pride clamped a hand around Harry's mouth and gave the girl a nervous smile.

"S-Sorry for my brother ma'am. He doesn't know when to stop talking sometimes," Pride laughed nervously in his 'I'm-an-angle-of-a-child-and-can-do-no-wrong' act before saying a quick goodbye and dragging Harry away from the girl.

Needless to say… that was just part ONE of the many things Harry would say to embarrass his older brother figure… not to mention it was made worse when Harry went up to Envy and told them about it.

" _Oooh~ So you tried to get Pride a girlfriend huh?"_

" _Yeah, but he chickened out the moment I started."_ Envy and Harry couldn't help but laugh a bit before the two started to come up with a few more ideas on how to get Pride to stop being such a hard ass.

" _ **Do you find something funny over there?"**_ the two froze instantly at Pride's echoed voice and even sweated nervously a bit from seeing some of his shadows coming up and the glare he set with his violet colored eyes.

" _N-Nope! Not at all! Ain't that right you little ankle bitter?"_

" _Y-Yeah, just uh… n-nothing important!"_

Even though the two were in fear of invoking the wrath of the first homunculus… they both started to secretly set up plans to mess with the shadow using homunculus.

A month before his eleventh birthday on a rather nice, sunny day, Harry had been surprised to see an owl sitting outside the window to his family's current home. He wasn't all to surprised by the letter it had, or the fact it seemed that said letter was on very nice parchment, rather he was surprised that any animal had the guts to come this close to his family's home without either fleeing or attempting to attack the inhuman occupants if it was brave enough.

The young wizard opened the window and grabbed the letter from the owl, who, now that Harry really thought about it, did seem to be rather uncomfortable being so close to the house. Not really caring too much about the bird Harry opened up the letter and began reading it, after being mildly disturbed at the letter's address being spot on with where he lived to his exact room.

 _Geeze talk about stalkers… Let's see what we've got here._ Harry thought to himself as he read the letter. One line he had to stop at and do a double take on was the name of this apparent school that he had been accepted to.

" _Hey Mom?"_ the nearly eleven year old called out through his opened door. By the time Lust poked her head out of her own room Harry finally let loose the question raking at his brain.

" _Who the hell names their school 'Hogwarts' and expects it to be taken seriously?"_

* * *

I kept as much vague as possible on purpose; after all where's the fun in giving out the whole story? It's more fun to leave it up to the imagination to fill in the gaps.

Leave a Review if you enjoyed it!

If you got inspired for a story from this let me know the Title and I'd love to read it!


	2. Intermission: How do Human's do this?

Hello everyone! I am proud to say... that I have a whole bunch of ideas for moments before the events of the actual story take place! They won't all be in exact order and each one will get posted in between main chapters. This won't mean that they aren't important to the plot or the story, hell no, but it's not something that will be brought up right off the bat.

That being said since I am going to be continuing this story I have one major problem that needs solving... which house should Harry be sorted into? Will it be Gryffindor? Slytherin? Ravenclaw? or for some reason Hufflepuff? I honestly can't decide so I made a poll on my account so feel free to vote which house Harry will be in. Winning Vote will of course be made cannon for the story and won't be announced till the official second chapter get's made!

Anyways here's a one-shot taking place during Harry's first year with the homunculi.

* * *

 _ **Intermission 1: How do Humans do this?!**_

The first problem the sins realized rather quickly in taking in a human… was the fact that none of them had any knowledge on raising or taking care of a human child. They knew that one of the first things that they needed to do… was to get proper supplies and anything they could to give them information on how to raise a human.

Needless to say… they were all very clueless when it came to humans or their young. One of the first things that they absolutely had to take care of right away was a thing called "Diapers" as it became apparent when Pride took one sniff and almost instantly wanted to hurl.

 _I'm regretting absorbing Gluttony more than ever!_ Pride thought as he left the room quicker than any other sin had ever seen their smallest sibling move. At first the three other siblings were all confused… till realization dawned on them and they left the child with the last one to hold him… Envy.

" _DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THE BRAT!"_

One shopping trip and a lot of complaining from Envy later, Lust was taking the initiative and reading through one of the books they got on "How to Raise a Child" while Greed mocked Envy and Pride for their reactions to the one year old.

" _You try having a nose as keen as a bloodhound and see how you deal with something that just relieved itself in it's pants…"_

" _I was stuck for two hours with the damn thing and had to change it HOW THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!"_

Needless to say, that didn't stop Greed from poking fun at his two siblings. Lust on the other hand could only sigh at the interactions of her brothers and sibling.

….

It had been nearly a month since the sins adopted Harry and things weren't proving to be any easier. One day Harry was babbling away and playing a little bit on the ground while Greed was sitting on the couch with the TV playing in the room, one of Greed's arms were propped up onto the arm rest with his knuckles holding up his head as he began to doze off from boredom.

 _How the hell do humans do this? Raising smaller human's when all they seem to do for the most part is cry, shit and eat… What's the benefit besides bringing the already high population up a little more?_ Greed pondered as he began drifting off a little… till he felt a tiny hand pat his leg and snap him out of his daze to look down at the child who was looking up at the Avarice with wide curious green eyes.

"What do you want kid?"

"P-p-pa?" Greed blinked at this.

"What?"

"Pa… pa?"

Greed was silent as little Harry seemed to repeat the single thing he seemed to say and play a little with his pants leg… until the Avarice picked the kid up then began walking out of the house with one of Pride's shadows noticing this.

" _ **Greed where are you going?"**_

" _The bakery… the kid just earned himself a cupcake."_

Needless to say since that day Greed started to spoil the kid a bit. That's how he also started to become a bit of a softy when it comes to the human in their care…. Not that he would admit to it though.

….

Envy wasn't allowed to be alone with the human for long… hell the Jealous wasn't even allowed in the kitchen if the human was around. It annoyed them that they were the only one with those strict rules. Granted it was justified on why as they were probably the most sadistic of their siblings when it came to tormenting humans.

It also didn't help that Greed seemed to be on their ass about harming the kid.

However today seemed to be one of those exceptions as Lust had to work at her current job, Greed had to do the same and it was Pride's turn for some Grocery shopping. Envy could never understand just how Pride could get away with it despite every human mistaking the oldest homunculus for a child. Speaking of children…

" _What the hell are you staring at insect?"_ Envy growled in annoyance as the young boy sat in his little crib staring up at the unique haired sin. Envy scowled as the human continued to look up at them with big wide eyes.

" _If you're trying to win me over with your supposed cuteness forget about it! Humans are disgusting-"_ Envy had started only to get cut off by a sudden pull on one of their strands of hair as Harry seemed to grab onto it and was laughing a little while pulling at the strand. With an annoyed look on their face, Envy snagged the child and held him up.

" _Stop that!"_ The Jealous snapped… only to regret it a moment later when Harry started to cry. The moment the first sob came out of the one year old Envy instantly changed their hold on the human and attempted to get him to stop crying… after all Lust, Pride and Greed would kill them if they found out about this… or if they resorted to silencing the kid.

Needless to say their efforts were in vain as Harry seemed to just cry some more which began to make Envy panic a bit more themself.

" _Stop crying already! C-Come on if you don't stop… shit what would Lust-"_ Envy stopped as an idea came to mind as they glanced at the still crying one year old. Red sparks began to dance across their form, the sound alone catching Harry's attention and at least stopping his loud cries long enough to watch as what was once Envy get replaced by the form of Lust once the sparks of red died down.

" _Calm down Harry,"_ their voice, changed to sound just like Lust's, said in a calm tone which left Harry wide eyed in amazement. The child reached out a hand and touched their face as if to confirm that yes it was real… and Envy had to bite back their tongue about it.

"Ma…?" Harry questioned causing Envy (still wearing the form of Lust) to blink and internally question if it was to them… or to the form of their sister. Figuring it was the latter it took almost all of Envy's will power not to grin like a maniac as they thought of something fun.

"That's right Harry… I'm mom," still sounding like their sister… oh this was going to be so much fun if it worked out the way they planned.

….

When Pride got home about an hour or two from his little trip he was actually surprised to see Envy laying on the ground in the living room and building something with Harry out of the toy blocks the child had. Not only that but the human seemed to be in one piece and from his enhanced sense of smell Pride could tell the child wasn't bleeding nor was there any blood in the house.

" _Alright what did you break this time Envy?"_

The shapeshifter's head snapped up with a mock hurt expression on their face as they looked between the eternally young Homunculus and the one year old before addressing the latter.

" _You hear that brat? Big brother Pride doesn't think I can actually behave and keep a human alive at the same time! Ye of little faith Pride, ye of little faith…"_

" _What… did… you… break... Envy?"_ Pride asked again, putting extra emphasis on each word he said and knowing better than to trust every word that comes out of the sadistic sin's mouth.

" _I broke nothing!"_

The loud sounds of some pans falling onto the hard kitchen floor seemed to call Bullshit on the denial.

" _... Correction I did break something, tried to fix it and clearly failed… Happy now?"_

The only response Pride had to his youngest sibling's answer was to facepalm and sigh, while Harry seemed to have gotten frightened by the loud unfamiliar noise and almost cried again.

 _Lust better get home before Greed… I don't want to be left with these fools of little brothers any longer than I already have to._

….

Thankfully for Pride, Lust was the first one home and surprisingly enough Envy and Harry were both well behaved during that time as well. The eternally young homunculus couldn't help but feel a bit of dread with how calm his sibling and the one year old were. Then it happened… the minute Harry saw Lust come into the room the one year old seemed to smile bright and say the word no one was expecting.

"Mama!"

Lust dropped her purse and had a dumbfounded look while Pride had to spit out the orange juice he had been drinking in shock… and Envy looked to be holding back a large grin at each of their reactions.

 _Just as planned~!_

It got ten times better for Envy when Greed got home and heard Harry use the word "Mama" again with Lust. At first he didn't really seem to mind, till Harry said "Papa" and two and two came together in his head and Greed outwardly cringed and tried to back out of the house simply saying "No" the entire way.

" _SHE'S MY SISTER!"_

" _I dunno far as we know since you're now a Xingese brat-"_ Envy started, wanting to savor the moment a little more with the success of their idea but getting cut off with Greed shouting "NO" and Lust shooting one of her "Ultimate Spears" right for their head… thankfully they ducked in time and held their hands up in mock surrender. Pride could only watch from the doorway with a disturbed look as he couldn't wrap his mind around the concept at all.

" _Okay, okay I get it! Too Far."_

" _Too far doesn't even cut it Envy,"_ Lust sneered, not enjoying the fact that Envy had set this up… but also the fact the one year old Green eyed child wouldn't stop calling her mom… or the fact he seemed to still call her younger brother "Dad" still.

Sure they did have a few harmless "Flirts" in the past, but the two never saw each other as anything more than siblings. Nothing was going to change that view, not even a new chance at life.

….

"Mama!"

"I'm not your mom."

"Ma?"

"No."

"Ma!"

A sigh made itself known from the female homunculus who rubbed at her forehead. It's clear she wasn't going to be getting anywhere with this child anytime soon on getting him to stop calling her mom.

" _Damn it Envy…."_ she glanced down at the child who sat at the foot of the couch laughing and smiling while looking up at her and reaching his hands up in the universal sign for up. With a sigh she gave in and picked the one year old up and held him rather close to eye level.

"You're a real pain you know that?"

With no real understanding of the words Harry just smiled and started playing with Lust's hair. Lust could only let out a quiet sigh as she stood up, Harry still in her arms and went through a check on what was needed… after all it's her turn for grocery shopping this week.

Finishing up her mental list she glanced to the black haired child in her arms and noticed how he seemed to be nodding off.

 _Perfect._

She made her way upstairs to the room with the crib and carefully placed the human into it and she stayed by his side till Harry finally fell asleep. Lust soon left the room, barely making a sound before finding the room where Pride was reading a book he checked out from a Library.

" _I'm heading out."_

" _... Isn't that a bad idea?"_ Pride questioned not looking up from his book as he did. Lust huffed but didn't change her posture.

" _The human's fast asleep and I'm merely getting groceries. It won't be long."_

" _Lust we both know-"_

" _It's only two hours, hardly anytime at all…. Big brother,"_ There was a smirk crossing her face as she knew that she could win this argument now, especially since Pride put his book down and turned to address her.

" _After all… aren't you supposed to be Pride the Arrogant? Oldest of the homunculi and supposedly… loath as I am to admit this… but the best of us next to Father?"_

" _... Get to the point Lust."_

" _Well surely being able to handle one human child on your own for a mere two hours would be a walk in the park. Especially since Greed, Envy and I have been doing the brunt of the work with the human for the past four months, while you have been avoiding having to even get your hands dirty."_

With a well trained eye, one would notice the flinch from Pride who otherwise attempted to keep his serious and "I'm so in control of the situation now" expression and posture while he sat.

" _Are you attempting to manipulate me?"_

" _Oh no of course not. I'm simply stating that you have been leaving your younger siblings to take care of the human while you stick to your own devices. What did we ALL agree to do since we've been living together as a family? Wasn't it… to split the workload evenly of the home and chores?"_

" _... I get it… just go already."_

Lust smirked a little at this and turned on her heels before leaving. Oh how much she enjoyed tormenting her brothers… it was almost to the same degree as Envy but then again unlike her sibling, she was a lot more controlled about it and used it sparingly… where Envy actively plans each annoyance out daily.

Pride on the other hand had a looming sense of dread that grew only stronger with each step his only sister took before she finally left the house and leaving him alone. With the baby… and absolutely no instructions on how to handle said child. How old was he technically supposed to be again? 10? 11? Does that matter? Yes, yes it really does because who in the right mind would leave a 10 year old alone with a baby? Though technically speaking he's not 10 but still it's the mere concept that counts and not only that but there was one more thing that was the icing on the cake by this point...

In all the human families that the first homunculus has ever been in… he had always either been the only child or the youngest. He had absolutely no experience with any younger human… EVER.

 _I'm doomed!_

….

" _Wow Pride and everyone worries about_ _**me**_ _being alone with the brat and yet you couldn't even handle an hour alone with it,"_ Envy smirked as they held the mentioned human child. Though Pride wouldn't admit it, he was happy that Envy was able to leave their current job early… and that Envy was completely right in him not being able to handle the human on his own.

" _Shut up Envy…"_

" _I'm just saying. I'm the youngest here and yet I can handle this_ _ **way**_ _better than you."_

" _I said shut up… Besides Lust didn't leave any instructions for it…"_

Envy didn't have to say anything, their expression pretty much said it all with their smart ass smirk at their oldest sibling. Pride wasn't happy at all with that expression and shot back a glare… it wasn't very effective.

Needless to say when Lust got home she was stuck in between being amused and being disappointed at the fact Pride proved to be a bad Babysitter… and she didn't know whether to be surprised, shocked or proud that Envy seemed to be much better at the job. So many mixed feelings to choose from and to little time to properly express each of them.

When Greed heard of it however he found it absolutely hilarious. Needless to say Pride would never live this humiliation down thanks to his two youngest siblings.

 _How the hell do human's handle this?_

* * *

One of the most important things to me is character development and attachments. That's what I tried to focus most on in this. Plus some instances were based on some real interactions I had with my own baby brother when we were both younger. (In fact Envy's and Harry's relationship in this is mildly based on mine and my own brother's relationship.)

These one shot intermissions will play a pretty big key into character development.

Also on a side note Greed's super happy about being called "Papa" stems from the fact... well to the homunculi their father is the strongest being in the world and is the one who gave them life. "Papa" or anything regarding the term "Father" would be a great compliment to anyone of them and well... Greed want's everything so the fact he _earned_ the title somehow is like the best thing to ever happen to him in this new world... but the disturbed part comes from the fact Lust is his sister and thought of having to even just pretend to be in a relationship.

Plus this will get brought up again... eventually.

Anyways for the official first chapter I'm going to try to get it finished up and post it next month.


	3. Chapter 1: Preparing and Starting

Oh my god this took far longer then I thought... Then again I overestimated how long it would take me to edit this to be how I wanted it to look... plus some complications with life happened as well. If you wanna know then keep reading, but if not then scroll down and get to reading the chapter.

Anyways so first off I did hit a little road block with this chapter as I didn't feel to happy about how some of it was going at first... so I ended up deleting 80% of it and starting over from scratch. The next part that lead to complications was... well one of my managers (who I'm pretty close with; she's cool man) had lost her only child last month. Let me put it this way to the FMA fans of this... my manager is like Maes Hughes about her daughter. Her daughter was her life and she passed away at only four months old. That was the bigger part of why I hadn't written for a while as well. It was... sad to say the least and I along with my other co-workers mourned for her loss.

The next part on a much lighter note... well I went to Meta Con and debuted my Envy cos-play. My god did I feel great about myself (I'm self conscious as hell about my body, but damn I felt complete man)! Then I recently went to the Renaissance Festival and well that was also fun.

 _ **Disclaimer: I do NOT own FMA or Harry Potter**_

 ** _Enjoy the chapter!_**

* * *

 _ **Chapter 1: Preparing and Starting**_

Lust read through the letter at least twice just to be sure she got everything it said right down to the very last detail.

" _... Sooo… you think going to a school that's named after a blemish on a pig's good? Or not?"_ Harry asked, keeping an eye on his mother's expression the entire time she read through it and only noticing her eyebrows scrunching up at least once during it. Meaning that there was at least one thing she didn't like in the letter.

" _More like a good opportunity. For starters this is a school full of young wizards, much easier to make alliances with them as well as being able to manipulate if you pull the right strings. The other thing is this is a school for magic… something that you yourself are capable of so it's much more for your own benefit. But…"_ Lust trailed off, causing Harry to lean in with interest… only to see a very familiar grin crossing his "mother's" face and a voice that's not hers to continue.

" _Personally I think it would be more fun to cause a bit of mayhem with those worms~!"_

" _ENVY! You know I hate it when you pretend to be mom!"_ Harry shouted as the red sparks danced across the homunculus, returning them to their much more preferred form and taking on their preferred outfit as well being a form fitting crop top with what could best be described as a black pair of shorts with a bit of fabric hanging off around their right side that left the oroborus marking on their left lower thigh visible, black fingerless gloves that went up to half of their forearm and some form of footwear that had their heels and toes exposed.

" _But I had you completely fooled! You should have seen the look on your face brat! Absolutely Priceless!"_ Envy laughed, making Harry pout and cross his arms with a glare to the youngest homunculus.

" _Shut up you bastard!"_

" _Better yet could you both shut up? I've had a late night and really don't want to be up right now,"_ Greed's voice yawned as the mentioned sin slowly made his way down the stairs, catching both the human and sin's attention rather quickly.

" _Dad should I go to a school that named itself after blemishes on a pig?!"_

" _... What?"_ Greed blinked, not understanding what was just asked at all. Envy snickered and Harry sighed.

" _This school called Hogwarts want's me to join… I'm mostly questioning if it's going to be as good as it's name,"_ Harry answered with a sigh. Envy snickered at the name while Greed went over and took the letter from Envy, reading it through himself.

" _Enough titles there buddy?"_ Greed muttered after reading the Headmaster's name before going through the rest and pausing at one line. " _An owl… they want us to send an owl."_

" _I think the one that delivered this is still outside,"_ Harry mentioned causing Envy to stop their snickering and to stand up and make their way to the door. As soon as they made it they opened it up and took a look, noticing the tawny colored barn owl sitting on a branch on their front yard tree. When the owl noticed them it seemed to back up and lower it's head with ruffled feathers. Narrowing their eyes Envy slowly closed the door and went back to the table.

" _Yeah the feathered rat's still out there."_

… _._

About an hour later Harry was writing his response letter, especially since Greed said it was a good idea… well not in those exact words but more like it would be a really good opportunity to improve and that Harry shouldn't pass it up.

The biggest problem that he's currently having though… is the wording and the fact he's having to write a letter. Sure he's had to write before but that was for school… he's never had to write TO a school before.

" _What are you doing Harry?"_ the voice of Pride tiredly asked, making Harry internally grateful for the oldest homunculus coming in and distracting him from the accursed paper.

" _Writing a letter to a wizard school for pig sores or something,"_ the young Wizard answered, as he turned to address the tired homunculus and holding back a smirk at the blank look on Pride's expression.

" _What?"_

Harry soon explained and half way through it Greed came by and smirked a little with a cup of coffee in one hand.

" _Trying to get out of writing a letter yourself kid?"_ Greed asked with a smirk as Harry was quick to protest and Pride was confused as hell. As Harry was halfway through his "explanation" Greed laughed him off. " _I'm kidding kiddo. Besides breakfast is ready so let's chow down."_

" _No offense dad… but you're cooking sucks."_ Harry winced while Greed looked unamused and Pride joined Harry's expression in total agreement with the statement.

" _Well then I guess someone isn't getting that cake from Bernie's Bakery,"_ Greed could barely hold back a smirk at Harry's expression at being denied a cake from his favorite bakery.

" _I TAKE IT BACK!"_

" _Good, besides it's Envy's cooking today. Not mine."_

It was still weird to the homunculi how Envy seemed to be a pretty good cook. It was even weirder to them that the shapeshifter never seemed to consider poisoning the food as a way to off someone… though maybe it's from the fact that they only started the cooking about 20 to 30 years ago and the only ones who ever seem to eat it mostly are their family… who can't really be killed by poison anyways.

Though it might also be good to point out that any poisons are usually locked away in an area that they never tell Envy about. Mostly for safety precautions. Envy still finds that really annoying to have so little trust placed on them with the concoctions especially when they actually need to use it for things like rats or mice… or the occasional asshole from the neighborhood.

" _HELL YEAH!"_ Harry exclaimed and ran into the kitchen while Pride yelled out to him for language.

" _Ah let it go Pride. We both know I was swearing up a storm at that age."_

" _Yes but should you really be using yourself as a comparison for a_ _ **human?**_ " Pride pointed out with crossed arms. Greed just rolled his eyes and followed after the excited child while taking a sip of his coffee.

….

Harry was quick to question if Lust was going to be joining in on breakfast or not… only to get the answer that she had been called into her current place of work early and wouldn't be back for a few more hours now. Though he was disappointed to be unable to see his mother this morning, Harry was able to shake it off rather quick as he remembered that Greed and Envy had the whole day off and instantly grew excited.

Well… until Pride just had to bring up the topic of the letter he was supposed to write. Harry could only look to the oldest homunculus with a look of betrayal. How dare Pride make him have to do boring writing during the summer?

While Pride was helping Harry write his letter, Envy was about to head out for a walk when they noticed that the owl was still there… and it seemed like it had a friend with another letter.

"HEY YOU DUMB RATS GIVE THE ANKLE BITTER FIVE MINUTES!" Envy shouted, causing the bird who brought a new letter to drop its delivery and fly off but for the first one to hold it's ground and take up the agitated position once again. Envy just gave the remaining owl an unamused look before giving the bird the one finger salute and going off on their walk… in a more "acceptable" outfit then their preferred one.

 _Why do humans have to be so picky on what's acceptable to wear? Comfort and being cute is way better then these standards of acceptable._

….

When Lust got home she mostly just wanted to collapse into her bed and just take a nap. The humans at her place of work were grueling and she still couldn't understand how people could put up with other's stupid questions or requests. Oh how much she wanted to stab at least one or two people during her entire day.

Unfortunately for her when she got home she discovered that the living room was a mess, another table and at least two chairs were broken, and her two younger siblings were restrained face down on the ground (and probably being stabbed or cut into from the evident red sparks) while the human child was sitting next to them, looking away from the agitated looking Pride and with his head lowered.

" _I'm almost afraid to ask…."_ Lust said while feeling the beginnings of a headache brewing. Knowing that this had something to do with one of her younger sibling's strange ideas of a game… she really didn't want to know just which one they decided to "play" this time nor did she really care at the moment. Her lush king sized bed was calling her name and the sheets were beckoning her into their comforting embrace and she really wanted to follow their call instead of dealing with her family at the moment.

" _ **Don't…."**_ Pride responded with an annoyed look on his face and making Envy stick their tongue out at their oldest sibling.

" _It was just a game Pride!"_ Envy exclaimed only to feel another stab coming through their gut from the black shadow wrapped around them.

Lust did not look pleased herself… nor did she even want to know the exact details of this "game" they were playing.

" _If any of you need me I'll be in my room…"_ Lust sighed, brushing her long hair behind her shoulder, hanging up her jacket on the coat rack and then making her way up the stairs. As soon as Lust was up the stairs Pride shot a glare to both his siblings and the human in their care. Only Harry and Envy couldn't meet the oldest homunculi gaze while Greed stared it head on with a defiant look in his own eyes.

" _ **You three better clean up your mess,"**_ Pride hissed while letting his two siblings go finally. Harry only turned his head upwards to get a peek at Pride's expression before shooting it back down.

" _Y-Yes Pride…."_ Though Harry hated to admit it… but if he was to say what one of his top fears were it would be Pride's anger. Well his Acrophobia was worse than his fear of his older brother figure, but fearing the eternally young homunculus wrath was still pretty high up there.

" _Not like we have a choice,"_ Envy scoffed.

" _Do me a favor while we're cleaning and get that stick out of your ass,"_ Greed huffed while stretching his arms a little, causing both Harry and Envy to flinch and glance between the xingese looking homunculus and the oldest one.

Thankfully nothing broke out from that comment and Pride just rubbed his head as if to calm a headache and left the trio to clean up the mess they created.

" _Hey Envy…"_ Harry started up as all three got up and were beginning to clean.

" _Don't say it…"_

" _But… Dad did-"_

" _Don't do it."_

" _I so won the bonus round and you know it,"_ Greed chimed in with a smirk on his face, which caused the shapeshifter to let out a groan of irritation.

Let it be known, that Harry, Greed and Envy had developed a game that they play every time the three have some time off and Pride's in the house. The objective is at first to cause as much damage or move as many things out of place as possible before getting caught by Pride. The first one caught is instantly the loser and when all three are caught it ignite's the bonus round, where someone had to keep a straight face the entire time Pride lectured them.

Whoever usually won the bonus round usually ended up winning the whole game, even if they were the first one out.

" _You're just jealous you got caught first~"_ Greed grinned as his sibling flipped him the bird and Harry tried to stifle a laugh.

….

The day came when Harry finally turned eleven. It was also the day (that was requested) when he would be taken to Diagon Alley to collect his supplies for Hogwarts. To say Harry was thrilled about this was an overstatement. In truth he just wasn't all that interested in the Wizarding World… mostly because from what he's gathered from the very, very few times he's ever actually spoken to a wizard they seemed to be more interested in a sport called Quidditch that involved **flying on a broom** and that they still seemed to think Robes were still in fashion.

" _Can one of you guys at least come with me instead of this 'Representative'?"_ Harry asked, never liking to admit he hated to be away from his family for a while… or the fact he felt kinda uncomfortable without at least one of their presence being there. The eleven year old hated admitting it most to Envy…. After all the youngest sin would make fun of him for it.

" _Harry, Greed and I have work today-"_ Lust started off only to get cut off by Envy.

" _Long story short it's more to get ya used to what the teachers might be like, being away from home for a while, blah blah blah. You get the picture?"_ Lust hit Envy upside the head soon as they finished. " _Ow! What? It's True!"_

Soon after a loud knock was heard at the door, to which Harry answered and by god everyone felt their eyes widen at the sight of a very large man with a long messy beard. One collective thought passed through the homunculi before a single question popped up in only one's mind:

"This human's almost as big as Sloth!" while the single question was "Wait… haven't I seen this guy somewhere before?"

Well the question was soon answered when Greed… and by default everyone heard the giant man say how he hadn't seen Harry since he was a baby. Greed was soon reminded of the night he picked Harry up and more importantly the single want he had from that night came to the forefront of his mind.

 _I want a god damned flying Motorcycle._

….

Harry wasn't surprised by the questions he received from the giant man before the shopping trip… mostly the biggest one being why he wasn't with his Aunt and Uncle. The young wizard shrugged and said they probably didn't want him. Which he would never know if it was true or not but in all honesty Harry could have cared less. He loved the family he had now and wouldn't give them up for the world.

Shopping turned out to be a little more fun then Harry was expecting… well except for when he was getting robes and this blond boy just rubbed him the wrong way… talking about his family and status and shit. Could his dad harden his sin to be like diamonds or cold hard steel? Harry highly doubted it and brushed the boy's bragging off… mostly because he knew that his dad was 100X cooler than any other dad out there.

Then again when he did get to thinking about his dad, Harry started to feel the weight of what's to come… he's going to be going to a school and staying there until holidays and summer breaks come up… and realizing this the young raven haired boy already began to feel homesick.

Harry was thankful though for Hagrid, the giant man who picked him up, bringing him a pretty snowy owl as a birthday gift. Sure he knew that all animals tend to freak out or not want to be around his family…. But the fact that he now had his own pet brought a smile to the eleven year old's face. Sure it's not the dog he once begged for but hey an owl was better than nothing!

Though he couldn't shake the feeling that he had seen a black cat following him around…. Well almost everywhere. Then again this is a place full of wizards and witches so it might just be someone's familiar or someone.

What Harry didn't notice was the dark almost unnatural looking shadow that followed the cat around… and by default the young Wizard as well.

….

The day came for Harry to board the train for school. His family coming with to see him off.

" _How the hell do you make a platform ¾'s?"_ Envy questioned looking at the ticket.

" _It must be a wizard thing Envy… though that does beg the question on finding it…."_ Lust pondered all of them keeping a lookout for the platform or anything unusual that could lead to the platform. Pride was doing the same but also using his shadows to help.

While the other three were busy looking for the platform, Greed was going over a check list with Harry.

" _Alright you got your school supplies?"_

" _Pretty sure I got it all."_

" _Clothes?"_

" _School and normal. Like hell I'm going to wear the robes all day."_

" _Snacks for the road?"_

" _A bag of potato chips and a few cookies counts right?"_

" _You got your money?"_

" _Of course."_ Harry gave a look that questioned if the Xingese looking homunculus thought he was stupid.

" _You sure on that one?"_ Greed smirked a little causing the young human to blink and check his pockets… only to find his coin bag full of galleons was missing.

" _What the hell dad?!"_

" _Gotta keep you on your toes kid!"_ the homunculus laughed before pulling out the small bag from his pocket and tossing it to his adopted son, who caught it with ease. " _Now then remember what I said about the ladies?"_

" _Don't pick a fight with them, flirt only if they seem interested with the wink and smile to start off, and try not to be too much of a dick?"_

" _Atta boy!"_ Greed laughed while ruffling Harry's slightly messy hair that went down to the nape of his neck. Harry couldn't help but laugh and try to push Greed's hand off his head.

" _Dad!"_

" _Oi you two mind helping out here?!"_ Envy shouted, catching more than just their two family member's attention as some of the station goers turned their attention to the shouting sin as well.

Shortly after the outburst, which Lust slapped Envy upside the head for, Pride was the one to overhear a family of gingers calling the people of the station Muggles. Understanding that the Wizards called non-magical humans that the oldest homunculus alerted the others and instantly they followed the gingers and observed how they got to the platform for a moment… which Envy couldn't help but point out as being a stupid way of hiding.

….

Harry sat in his compartment watching out the window, feeling homesick already. He was also still impressed that Lust seemed to get along well with the Wizard mother, Molly Weasley as she introduced herself… then again the raven haired wizard was pretty sure that his mother was just acting the part. Envy seemed to disappear which Greed scoffed at and thought that they got bored and left to get some coffee then say bye. Pride simply told Harry to write often… though Greed went a little excessive by telling him to write every day… thankfully Lust got them to compromise on having Harry write once a week just to tell them how he's doing and if anything interesting happens.

Then there was the fact that the same black cat that he saw back at Diagon Alley seemed to have found him on the train and made itself at home in his compartment. Sure it was kinda strange but he figured whoever owned it would come in looking for the cat and Harry would give it back.

" _Wow are you going to be this glum the entire ride brat~?"_ the familiar voice snapped Harry out of his thoughts and made his green eyes widen in shock at the source… the cat. The "cat" was grinning in the same way only one being that he knew would do that no matter what face they wore.

" _ENVY?! What the hell?!"_ Not that the young wizard wasn't happy that his older sibling figure was here… but the fact that they were coming to school with him in the form of a cat was both weird… and terrifying to think about as he's heard the stories that surround their sibling.

" _For starters Pride and Lust wanted more info on this school for magic. Buuut seeing as neither could go for a few obvious reasons they decided to recruit little old me to do the dirty work,"_ Harry could have sworn Envy had quietly let out a "like always" at the end but he wasn't exactly sure. " _Also no, Greed isn't in on this. Mostly because he would have ruined the surprise."_

" _... But I thought the rules said I only could bring one animal…"_

" _Did it? I clearly remember it saying 'An Owl or a Cat or a Toad' not that you couldn't have one that 'accidentally' got into your luggage and followed you to school. Plus if you really think about it it's not specific on if you only HAVE to have one, just that it's recomended."_

As much as Harry didn't want to admit it, Envy did have a point. The wizards really should have made it a little more clear… (A.N. No but seriously it never mentions if they can or can't have more than one so I'm just rolling with it.)

An Ed sized moment later, as Envy would have put it, the youngest male of the gingers walked in, causing Envy to clam up and lay next to Harry as the ginger asked if he could sit there. Harry shrugged after glancing nervously at Envy and motioned for the guest to sit down across from him.

After all it was going to be a long ride so why not try to make a new friend… Dear God Harry hoped this kid didn't force him into playing Quidditch if they became friends. With how obsessed he seemed to be Harry wouldn't put it past the ginger known as Ron Weasley.

* * *

Well I hope you enjoyed... Now I'm gonna go rewatch the first Harry Potter Movie a few times before writing the next chapter and I hope to see the poll sky rocket during that time as the second chapter will have the results finally shown.

OH on a side note for anyone interested in Bleach, I've finally started to write a drabble crossover series that I'm planning to call **Adventures of Old Man and Hollow** it's literally gonna be about Old Man Zangetsu and Hollow Ichigo trying to get back to Ichigo over the two years he lost his powers.

Reason why it's gonna be a crossover? Well let's just say Hollow is not very good at transporting people.

Anyways sorry about that Advertisement there but I hope to see you all next time!

Leave a Review if you enjoyed this chapter or have suggestions for a future chapter or short I can focus on in between chapters!


	4. Chapter 2: Singing Hats, Annoying Cats

I... Have no words to describe how surprised I am that this is so popular... or even how sorry I am for taking so freaking long for this... Sadly I can not confirm if I will ever be able to make a chapter three or another intermission chapter anytime soon... mostly due to life getting in the way and many other stories I'm working on... To be completely honest I'm just surprised I even wrote this much for it. I was mostly just thinking of a Prompt idea to help add more diversity to the crossover of these two series... I never intended to make this an actual story but hey it did...

Again I'm very sorry for the long wait and I apologize again for not being able to update this often.

* * *

 _ **Chapter 2: Singing Hats, Annoying Cats**_

Harry was a little bit annoyed. First off this Ron kid asked about his stupid scar after he told him who he was… Harry had to question which one at first before realizing it was the lightning bolt one upon his forehead. He did show it off but said he had a cooler one on his left arm from when his training with his family got a little too rough. Greed practically blew up at the others about it… Mostly Envy since they had been the one who pushed it so far.

Speaking of the sin, Envy was laying on the seat next to Harry and practically rolling his eyes at the story Harry was telling about the scar… as well as the red haired wizard himself. Envy could practically smell the Jealousy from the boy given how the red haired child was clearly wearing hand-me-down robes that didn't quite fit just right, to the simple sandwich and how he seemed to react when Harry paid the Trolley Lady for a few of the sweets and-

 _Wait a minute he got five chocolate frogs… Brat better save one of those for me!_ Envy flicked his tail into Harry's side as a subtle reminder to share some of the goods. The raven haired wizard frowned a little down at the disguised homunculus but set one of the packaged frogs down next to him. Envy sent him a manic grin, outside of Ron's view of course, before wrapping his tail around the package. They were gonna save that for when the red haired kid leaves… or passes out.

Sadly for the disguised sin Ron seemed to keep start asking up a few more questions… and what really got on Envy's nerves was the fact this kid had a rat.

 _Where's that rat poison when you need it?_ Envy thought, a snarl making it's way to his face as he stared at the fat rat by the red haired kids side… but took joy it watching it squirm from the small growl that made itself known from his throat.

 _Wait… that note never said anything about being able to bring a rat… What the hell?_

…

A while before the train pulled up to Hogwarts a young bushy haired girl around Harry's age came into the compartment asking the boys if they had seen a Toad some kid named Neville lost. Both boys had denied seeing it and the next comment made both Harry and Envy get a little mad.

"Shouldn't you have that cat in it's carrier? We don't need another lost pet after all."

"Excuse you, but Envy-" Envy sent a small glare to the black haired wizard for using his real name like that. Harry also internally cut himself off from saying anything that could break Envy's disguise. "... doesn't have a carrier. They just snuck into my bag."

 _Two points for trying brat._

….

With their first glimpse of Hogwarts Harry honestly felt like taking back a few things he said about the school… Envy on the other hand was thinking of all the things they COULD say about it when the two get their time alone. Envy felt like they were going through withdrawals of not tossing out their usual insults.

Not to mention both Envy and Harry were not too keen on their transportation TO the castle… After all with Envy's extra weight they couldn't help but be nervous in the old boats. They both practically held their breath the entire way… well except for when the someone rocked their boat so much that they fell in. Both the homunculus and wizard couldn't help but laugh at it.

" _If dad was here he would find this hilarious as well!"_ Harry laughed in Amestrian, confusing the rest of the people on the boat with him on just what he said.

…

" _THE PARASITE IS WHERE?!"_ To say that Greed was angry was an understatement. He was feeling pissed off, worried and a whole lot of other conflicting emotions.

" _I just told you Greed and I'm not explaining everything a second time Greed,"_ Lust sighed as she downed a cup of coffee for her upcoming night shift. She was gonna need it to deal with some of those humans.

Pride just rolled his eyes as he watched the TV they had, ignoring his two younger siblings.

" _I get that, what I don't get is WHY THE HELL YOU SENT ENVY TO BE IN A SCHOOL?!"_ God reflecting a little bit on it, Greed hadn't been this pissed off and worried since the time Harry came back from a summer camp early with a broken arm when he was eight. Lust pinched the bridge of her nose at her younger sibling.

" _Harry's school is full of young magical humans, we need to know the clear advantages and disadvantages by seeing it in action rather than from a book. Not only that but this 'Dumbledore' was the one who apparently left Harry on the doorstep of the Dursley's all those years ago."_

Now that had Greed subconsciously pulling up his Ultimate shield on his hand as he remembered the night he saw them leaving the child there. It had to have been that elderly wizard with the long ass beard. He wanted to punch that old man in the face so badly for that.

" _Don't take your anger out on anything we own Greed,"_ Pride piped up causing both Lust and Greed to glance over to their eldest sibling… who was staring more at the TV then his family… though Greed did check the shadows around them first only to spot no eyes nor creepy grins in any of them.

" _How did-"_ Greed started only for Lust to raise her hand and stop him right there as Pride started to speak again.

" _You think I wouldn't know how you work by now Greed?"_ At Pride's question Lust merely gave Greed a whole "See?" look as she took a sip of her coffee. Greed was heavily confused but basically gave up in trying to question it immediately… it would only lead to a headache after all.

 _Doesn't mean I still can't worry 'bout my kid…_ Greed thought to himself, making a mental note to write to Harry and tell him to punch the old wizard in the face next time he sees him… or at least convince Envy to do it… Maybe also convince Harry to punch Envy in the face as a "Hello" from him as an added bonus.

….

The inside of the castle was just as breathtaking as the outside, though Harry and Envy did have to question the floating candles problem… as well as the moving staircases.

" _Seems like that was planned by nutcases if you ask me,"_ Envy had whispered to Harry, finally getting some of their pent up insults out and feeling at least a little better. The raven haired wizard had to agree with their sibling on that though… after all who in the right mind would risk having hot wax drip onto people or risk them getting stuck somewhere, on the stairs, they didn't want to go? Don't even get them started on the risks of someone needing to go somewhere but the stairs changed immediately.

As they approached the great hall Harry and Envy overheard some of the students talking about some kind of test that sorts students into their houses. No two were alike but the mention of fighting trolls from Ron made Envy's fur rise and eyes narrowed into slits.

"Pretty sure a school wouldn't allow that Ron… even though it sounds like a fun initiation," Harry pointed out and could almost start picturing himself fighting a troll. He was so lost in his mind that he missed the glare from the disguised sin or the confused look from the redhead.

 _Like hell it would be fun ya stupid brat._ Envy thought while biting his tongue and flinching back from some kids who tried to pet his head, thinking he was a simple cat and not a "recovered" homicidal, shapeshifting homunculus.

Walking through the halls the group of first years, plus one disguised homunculus, all stood in front of the doors to the Great Hall for the upcoming "Sorting Ceremony" that they, minus said homunculus, would all be going through. Entering into the room both Envy had felt the need to take back some of his more, degrading remarks about Wizards with how impressive the room looked right up to the charmed ceiling… well until Envy also thought about what the point even was when glass and windows existed.

What really made Envy look on with a whole "What the Fuck?" expression on his face was a ratty old looking hat sitting on a stool… and it was singing. Harry seemed to be kinda impressed while Envy was quietly questioning "Why is that even a thing?"

Soon it became a little obvious why it talked when someone was called up for the sorting ceremony and had the hat placed on them for a bit before calling out one of the four house names for everyone to hear. Though, Envy still had to question what the point of it singing was but left it up to a strange things Wizards thought up to entertain the kiddies. Finally though it was Harry's turn.

"Potter, Harry." and the whole room went silent for a moment, while Harry blinked processing the last name of his for a moment before Envy had to nudge him in reminder that's what his real last name was and not "Bradly" as they had been mostly using. Harry stood up and tried to brush off the awkward pause he had for that moment by standing up straight and channeling his best Greed as he made his way up to the stool.

Envy heard the mutterings of the student body about his adopted sibling as Harry walked up to get sorted and was slowly getting more and more annoyed with these mentions of "You-Know-Who" and how they were wondering if he had the scar… Fame for doing something as a child wasn't really the best thing and Envy was half tempted to shout at them to shut the fuck up. Small children and their innocence be damned, Harry said his first curse word at five they could handle it… if they weren't supposed to be undercover.

 _Lust and Pride owe me big…_ Envy thought while clenching their jaw shut to keep themself from shouting all the shit they wanted to.

Harry on the other hand was trying to keep himself relaxed as he made his way up to the stool. He could feel all the eyes on him and hear some of the whispering about him, and even though Greed says to relish the attention… Harry was starting to feel like he'd rather hide under the tables and avoid eye contact with how many people were looking at him.

Just as he felt his "Greed mode", as both he and Envy would jokingly call it, starting to slip and wanting to bolt, he felt something small brush past his leg. A signal from Envy, telling him to calm the fuck down and that he was literally right in front of the stool now.

The young wizard sat down and tried to keep his expression aloof… but from the focused eyes of everyone in the Grand Hall on his very being... it really was a struggle. Harry's only comfort was when the hat was placed on his head and how the rim of it covered some of his vision.

And then the voices happened.

" _My, my what a peculiar family life I see here."_ The voice said and Harry was instantly uncomfortable.

 _I know dad said he once shared a body and technically had voices in his head once… but Jesus this is so weird! How the hell did he put up with it?_ Harry thought as the voice of the hat prattled on about where to sort him, the young raven haired wizard being uncomfortable the whole time. Envy could see the discomfort of their adopted younger sibling and almost immediately jumped up to bat the hat off of the boy's head. Before they could even do the last part the hat seemed to have finished making its choice and with a loud voice shouted.

"SLYTHERIN!" Harry couldn't get off the stool fast enough, practically dumping Envy off onto the ground with a startled noise and practically sprinted to his table just to avoid the hat as well as try to avoid the many eyes on him.

A few more names got called out after he sat down and some kids at his table seemed to be sizing him up already… but also seemed to be smug about having him there as well, while Envy crawled over to him under the table.

" _What the hell was that for ya brat?"_ Envy hissed quietly, thankfully only Harry really picked it up but still the young boy glanced around the table to make sure no one was paying attention to his conversation with his older sibling figure.

" _I had the freaky hat voice in my head for a while there."_ Harry explained with a grimace

" _... Was it screaming like a soul of the damned?"_ The homunculus quirked a brow, not knowing how bad the whole hat thing was.

" _No it was reading my mind."_ At that even Envy had to grimace with a shudder. That was beyond creepy… and also terrifying to the homunculus if it decided to tell of their real identity and call them out.

….

Settling down for bed wasn't all to bad. Harry just had to throw up some silencing charms (one of his favorite spells he learned) as he closed the hangings around his bed in the shared dorm room he had with his fellow first years. Envy curled at the foot of his bed and kept his head low so people wouldn't see a cat's talking shadow.

" _Those charms up?"_

" _Of course."_

" _Good because I've got a shit load of things to get out. Starting with the fucking Chocolate frogs!"_

This was going to be a long night and Harry was already prepared to quietly just pass out in the middle of his Sibling's rant of all the things they had been keeping pent up since the train.

….

As soon as Harry was fast asleep, Envy listened to the other children sharing the room for a moment before jumping out of the bed as quietly as possible and sneaking out of the room. Once out of said room they changed forms from that of a feline to one of the most generic looking child they could think of with the Slytherin colors going on for the outfit.

 _Time to work… and to break a few rules in the process._ A wicked grin spread on Envy's face as they left the common room, the password for getting back in engraved into their memory as they walked the halls.

Envy's first task at the moment was to mentally map out the castle and take into account those moving stairs. (Point number twenty nine of their rant earlier, "What the fuck is with moving stairs?! One wrong step as they're changing and boom recipe for either a dead kid or a lost limb!") They would need to see if there was any pattern to how they changed as well as where the paths would lead.

Easy enough really, just mentally remember the paintings leading up to the room… specifically the moving ones that continued to not make any sense to Envy.

 _Seriously, either be a fucking ghost, or just be still. There's no need for moving paintings that freak out at your presence like a stupid flea bitten animal. Should have added that to the rant._ Envy thought with a huff at seeing some of the mentioned paintings quiver from sensing the tormented souls that naturally made up the homunculus's being.

Walking through the halls after a while Envy slowly just shifted forms back to their preferred appearance after confirming no one would recognize them… or even seemed to be up and about at the moment aside from the paintings… but the homunculus hardly cared at all about them.

 _Night one and nothing of note…. Fucking great…_ Envy thought with a deep sigh as they began to walk back to the Slytherin dorms. Retracing the steps they took they only paused at the sound of a loud hiss. Standing not to far away was an almost skeletal looking dust grey cat. It's yellow eyes seemed to glow in the dark and Envy could tell that it's long fur was standing up on end at their mere presence alone.

"Buzz off ya flea bitten bag of bones," Envy snarled at the cat, making it back up a few steps but continue hissing at the androgynous looking sin.

"What's wrong my pet?" A voice called out making Envy quietly curse to themselves and quickly changed forms to that of a black cat once again just as an old man that looked like he just crawled out of a grave to Envy with his pasty face, bulging eyes and sunken in veiny cheeks. The sin didn't even wait long enough to hear more of this man before hurrying along, thankfully not being followed by the man who clearly thought that they were just a pet that got out somehow.

 _Note to self for future reference… Avoid the cat, a zombie follows it._ Envy marked down for themselves mentally as they got closer to familiar territory.

….

The morning breakfast wasn't as eventful as the first night, though Harry was a little concerned to see Envy looking so tired and pretty much staying in bed until the young wizard finally convinced them to at least get some breakfast.

Harry was glancing over his class schedule as he ate his food, only to nearly choke when he saw there were required flying lessons coming up.

That was not gonna be fun at all for the boy and both he and Envy knew it… even though the sin was still pretty much half asleep at the table.


End file.
